Mediation and Harry Potter - Mediators Are Like Magic Wands

Orlando Divorce - Mediation and Harry Potter - Mediators Are Like Magic Wands

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As fans of the Harry Potter series, my wife and I were excited about the release of the final film, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2. We made a date, bought our tickets, and were magically transportable into the phenomenal world of wizards, witches, and muggles for almost 2 hours. It felt great! We loved it so much, the following day, we saw it again with my mother-in-law.

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For me, there is nothing quite like a well-crafted adventure/fantasy film that takes me away from reality for a much needed respite from the demands of the day. For those of you who have not seen it yet, I will not spoil it for you. Please read on.

Of course, whenever there is a story of magic, chances are good that magic wands will be involved. During this film, the audience is in case,granted with more detailed comprehension concerning magic wands, which I conception could serve as a perfect comparison to mediators. So, without supplementary ado...

Magic wands are described as being unique. Each is made from separate ingredients. Some are more flexible than others. Some have characteristics such as "unyielding." In fact, it is implied that wands are sentient. In other words, magic wands have the quality to know and perceive; they have a consciousness.

For example, one of the characters, Draco Malfoy, while pointing his wand directly at Harry Potter, explains to Harry that he has borrowed his mother's wand. Draco subsequently expresses that his mother's wand is powerful, but that it doesn't categorically understand him.

So how does all this delineate to mediators?

Like magic wands, mediators are unique. Each mediator brings a separate life contact to the mediation table and perceives the world straight through his/her unique life filters.

For example, a mediator who had a childhood that was chaotic or out of control because of some house dysfunction may feel an intense need to practice accurate control over the mediation process. He/she may not be flexible adequate to think a creative alternative to the mediation process he/she has implemented. If your mediation would advantage from a mediation process that is separate from the one the mediator chooses, you are likely out of luck with this mediator.

Note: During my master of Laws program at The Straus Institute, I had a phenomenal policy with Bill Eddy titled "Psychology of Conflict." Bill Eddy is a lawyer and a Licensed Clinical group Worker, and he runs the High friction Institute. We studied groups of high friction personality types and the linked behavioral traits relating to conflict. Naturally, some mediators exhibit high friction behaviors, as in the example above.

Like magic wands, some mediators are more flexible than others. For example, in cases where there is a history of domestic violence, a thrifty mediator will strongly think the possibility of holding the parties separate throughout the mediation process to eliminate the possibility of intimidation and to provide the victim with a safe environment, where he/she feels comfortable to open up, be vulnerable, and delineate effectively.

I have personally been complicated with mediation where the parties had a history of domestic violence and the mediator whether did not separate the parties or he/she encouraged the parties to come together in the same room. This coming is neither right nor wrong and will depend upon the circumstances of a case, and it demonstrates that mediators naturally have separate perspectives and approaches to mediation and domestic violence.

Like magic wands, mediators have characteristics that can impact the success of your mediation. For example, some mediators are domineering or overbearing, while others can be more laid back and patient. Some mediators are very extroverted and might talk more than he/she listens, while others are more introverted and will likely listen more than he/she talks.

Like Draco's mother's wand, your mediator may not understand you. Does he/she have knowledge or comprehension of personality type theory? Can he/she use that knowledge to facilitate transportation between the parties? If you are an artist and you have a mediator who is an engineer, the probability is high that he/she may naturally not understand you or your perspective on your dispute.

Lastly, there are separate mediation styles. Some mediators are evaluative. In other words, he/she will listen to your story and provide you with his/her best guess as to what might happen in court. Other mediators are more facilitative and would prefer to avoid any argument about your legal rights and what might happen in court. If you choose to go to mediation without a lawyer, you might want an evaluative mediator. If you know your legal rights because you have sought the counsel of a great lawyer, you might prefer a more facilitative mediator.

If you have the opening to choose your mediator, choose wisely. Do you want a lawyer/mediator, a old Judge/Mediator, a psychologist/mediator, an accountant/mediator, a real estate agent/mediator, a life insurance agent/mediator, or an engineer/mediator. Do you want person who knows the law and your rights or person who knows more about human psychology? Maybe you can find a mediator with a compound of these qualities!

In summary, I have shown you how mediators are similar to magic wands. Some are more flexible than others. Each has unique characteristics. Some may understand you while others may have no idea where you are coming from.

Like a wizard using the accurate wand, it is categorically imperative that you work with the suitable mediator for your dispute. If there is one considerable ingredient to the success of a mediation, it would be the mediator.

Fortunately, for all of us, mediators are not like wands in one respect. Fans of Harry Potter know that the wand-maker, Ollivander, has told Harry any times, that magic wands choose the wizard. Thankfully, a mediator will ordinarily not choose you. You make the choice.

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